we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
