you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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