i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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