party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
