Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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