He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
