Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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