I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
