I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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