He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
