Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize