I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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