If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
