Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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