I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Success! We fucked roommates!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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