Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
