Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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