Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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