How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
third nipple confirmed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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