she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
