I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
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There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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