You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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