After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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