I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize