We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
