belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
