Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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