people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
