i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
