My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize