eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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