you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
