Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize