I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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