Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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