How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
