I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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