just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
