apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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