He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
