Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
