she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
