Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
