so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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