I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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