Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish I only lived at night.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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