He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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