Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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