Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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