i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
