Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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