I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
