I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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