you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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