Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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